Twit goes to Middle Earth
by Emirii Erizabesu
Summary: Mary Sue goes to middle earth thank's to magic cow pat and meet's the Fellowship. Set just before the Fellowship part way's at Isengard. No 10th ring, no romance. Honset reviews welcomed


When the fellowship talk (or anyone from Middle Earth) it Weston NOT English. When Sue (or anyone from earth talks) it's English.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Lord of the Rings it belongs to J.R Tolkien. And the song belongs to Roanan Keating (sorry not sure on his name)

This is a story about a girl named Mary Sue. She had one of those hour glass figures you only see in cartoon's, big blue eyes and blond hair, she is popular has many friends, a Lord of the Ring's fan, Legolas okay that hottie Orlando Bloom who played him fan and well you get what I'm saying. She had hard times too, her dad had to sell their holiday home in the USA and their pool was not working oh and she broken a nail. Yes times were hard for Mary Sue indeed. So this is were the story starts.

England, New Forest:

" Well what do you mean the car has broken down?"

" I'm sorry Miss Anderson the battery has died"

" And how long until another car can come to pick me up?"

" 30 minutes at the most Miss"

" Not good enough. I shall walk home I'll go though the forest inform my parents will you"

" Yes Miss"

And with that Mary Sue walked home into the forest not knowing that she would soon be in deep, deep shit. Not to mention falling in the middle of the fellowship. But for now she was walking and listening to some music.

" The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all.. Oh great I've just walk into a cow pat these high heels are ruined not to mention my lovely feet. I'm sinking Help me, help m…."

Now this was no normal cow pat it was magic due to the fact that the cow when young had gone in the middle of faerie ring and gave it powers of magic. Mary Sue fell down and down into the pits of hell and back again before landing in the middle of some people and some kids. As soon as she landed the people had grab their Bow's and arrows, dagger, swords and staffs to attack her with.

" Who are you? What do you want here?"

Mary Sue looked at the man that had just spoken he was ridding a white horse, dressed white and had a long white hair and beard. In fact Mary Sue thought he looked familiar, as did the others with him then she noticed were she was, Middle Earth and she knew who these people were it was the Fellowship. She looked around for her lust object Legolas she found him next to a small ugly looking thing she didn't know what it was but she didn't like it. But who cared there was Legolas she tried making eyes at him by flutter her eyes and winking at him.

" What do you think she wants old friend?"

" I don't know Gimli. But I think she can not see well, she keeps squinting"

" Then maybe she cannot see and has wondered away from her village?"

"But there are not any village's in this area to my knowledge"

"Strange"

"Indeed"

Mary Sue was trying so very hard to hear what her Lego was saying she missed a very important conversation about her. But then again it doesn't make a difference as she can't understand them, but she was slow on the up take

" Do you think she is a spy of Saruman, Gandalf?

" She could be Frodo after all she appeared from nowhere and she does not speak our language.

Mary Sue looked at them again she could not figurer out three things, why Legolas wasn't looking at her, and why they weren't talking in English like they did in the movie's, who was that short thing talking to her Lego anyway? She didn't remember him at all in the movie, and why was she surrounded by all these men pointing a sword at her why that old guy talked to this other guy. She was covered in mud as well due to the cow pat she landed in to get to middle earth and the horse manure she landed when she got to middle earth she smelt rather bad really, but then so did the fellowship seeing as they didn't have any spare water to have a bath in, but they don't tell you that in the movie do they?

Mary Sue been Mary Sue did the only thing she knew what to do she threw herself at Legolas in order to hug him. It was alas not meant to be seeing as she met a really irrigated dwarf coming towards her with his helmet on, coming at her head on to stop her going near Legolas, causing her to be knocked out and poor Gimli to be a bit dazed as well.

"Gimli are you okay?"

" I will be after a while Aragorn thank you. But what of the child she was ready to attack, yet she has no weapon on her it seems"

"Gandalf seems to think she is a spy seeing as how she just appeared. I say we take her to Isengard and give Saruman his spy back"

"Could we not leave her here if she is indeed a spy?"

"No she may follow us and it is to cruel to kill a child even if she is an enemy"

"What say the others?"

" They too seem to think she is a spy. Gandalf does not think she is any real threat to us just a child who Saruman is using."

"Then I say to Isengard"

"I say it too and if she tries anything we can stop her"

And so Mary Sue had her hands tied up and was made to sit on a horse with a very smelly man who she didn't even know. But more then anything Mary Sue wanted to know, in her dwarf induced concussion was, were did these flies come from they weren't mentioned in the film at all apart from one point in the Special Extended version of the movie that she saw only once as it was just too long.

And so Mary Sue and the Fellowship along with the company went to Isengard.

If anybody is OOC then very sorry I have tried not to make them out of character if I have let me know so I can try and alter it. I have a plan for this no fear. Just tell me if you think I should bother carrying on with this or not. Any reviews welcome thank you. The song choice was due to the fact it was playing on my radio when I wrote this I don't like the singer nor do I like the song. Any Gimli lovers out there do not hurt me please I do like him really I do.


End file.
